Melody Angel's Guide to Heaven and Hell Read online

  Meness

  Meness, also called Menuo in Lithuanian, is known as a moon god in the Baltic region. His preferred mode of transport is a chariot pulled by grey horses. After a lengthy courtship, he married Saule, the Baltic sun goddess, but he was unfaithful to her with the morning star and punished accordingly.

  Both Meness and Saule are Dynameis, angels responsible for the moon and sun, respectively.

  Mephistopheles

  Mephistopheles means doesn't love the light. This isn't entirely accurate, as Mephi's greatest desire for centuries has been a tropical beach holiday with her husband, Beelzebub. There's no love lost between her and Lucifer – she feels her husband has as much right to be Lord of Hell as Lucifer does, though she invariably rules the roost where her husband is concerned.

  She's the demon who tempted Doctor Faustus and made a deal for his soul. It's made her a formidable personal assistant to Lucifer in the HELL Corporation, as she's the expert on legal contracts with humans. From occupational health and safety to sexual harassment in the workplace, Mephi knows what Lucifer can and can't get away with. But, Lucifer being the Lord of Lies, he manages to get away with it anyway.

  Merihim

  Merihim is the dark prince of pestilence, but in the HELL Corporation he's known as Merih, the manager of the Public Health Unit. He has a bit of a crush on Mel.

  He's one of the fallen angels guarding the gates of Dis and he often passes the time by playing poker with Kasyade and Asmodeus, the other fallen angels on guard duty.

  Michael

  Saint Michael the Archangel is one of three archangels mentioned in the Christian Bible, together with Raphael and Gabriel. In the Qur'an, only two angels get mentioned – Michael and Gabriel.

  Healer, protector and leader against the armies of Satan, Michael's name means he who is like God. He's described in Christian, Jewish and Islamic religious texts and he's believed to be the angel responsible for Satan's defeat and banishment from Heaven.

  He's suggested to be the leader of the Seraphim, but also just the Archangel in charge of the lowest level of angels, those who have no other choir.

  Michael is described in several sources as the rescuer of faithful souls. He's reputed to have stood guard over Moses' body and over Eve's body, too. He fought Samael (described in some sources as a fallen angel, who grabbed Michael's wings and tried to pull him down with him when he fell) for Moses' body.

  In the Catholic faith, Michael has the interesting task of giving souls near death the chance to redeem themselves in their last hour. Seeing as he's usually in the right place at the right time, he also brings newly-dead souls to judgement at the gates of Heaven. This is consistent with his depiction as the leader of the lowest choir of angels, who fulfil similar roles in guiding souls to their final judgement.

  Michael has a reputation as a heavenly physician. He's believed to have appeared to the Emperor Constantine at Sosthenion, south of Constantinople.

  Egyptian Christians placed the Nile under his protection, as this river was so important in their lives.

  Michael is frequently portrayed in religious art in armour and armed with a sword – sometimes with or without flames.

  In Lucifer's war against Heaven, Michael was the leader of the armies who opposed him, as well as the one who personally dispatched Lucifer to Hell.

  In the present day, Michael is an archangel – one of the guardians at Heaven's gate who stands in judgement over souls who wish to enter. Clad in armour and bearing a flaming sword, he makes quite an impressive guard. Since he banished Lucifer, he stands guard to make sure the fallen angel doesn't return to Heaven.

  However, there is another side to Michael. He's Melody Angel's younger brother – and he's very protective of his sister. He and Raphael met as brothers in arms during the Heavenly War against Lucifer and it's hard to say who's more important to him – Raphael or Mel. Both he and Raphael are united in their mission to protect Mel at all costs.

  Minos

  As Saint Peter is believed to judge souls at the gates of Heaven, so Minos is the man who hands out accommodation assignments in Hell.

  Minos was a legendary king who appears in many stories involving other, equally mythical characters. There are so many of them that there may have been more than one man with that name, so archaeologists are uncertain whether Minos was really a name or the title of the king – but the Minoan civilisation was named after Minos by an early 20th century archaeologist, Sir Arthur Evans.

  Around 4000 years ago, the decentralised cultures on Crete formed a new political system, headed by a single person – their king. Large palaces were constructed, which were for administrative and storage purposes as well as living spaces. Roads were built between their cultural centres, which exhibited set class structures...and the beginnings of an established bureaucracy.

  This king – the legendary Minos – brought about peace, prosperity and the political system that supported it. His navy was the first of its kind in the ancient world – or at least the first documented navy. To put this into perspective, this was before the Trojan War.

  Minos' kingdom was modern-day Crete and there are still ruins from his reign dotted around the island. The earliest known buildings from the Minoan civilisation are around 4000 years old. For around 500 years, the Minoan civilisation was one of the most advanced of its time, as evident by its art, written language, functional indoor plumbing and structures that have withstood centuries.

  Minoan cities were open to the sea and their pottery has been found throughout the Mediterranean, indicating that they traded far and wide, presumably by sea. Minos lived in Knossos, the largest Minoan city, where he was reputed to hear leadership advice from Zeus. This he translated into legislation and a complete constitution for Crete.

  To reward him for his good judgement throughout his life, Minos was made the judge of the dead in the Underworld, possibly with his two brothers. According to Virgil, he decided who went to Elysium or Tartarus.

  In Dante's epic Christian poem, The Divine Comedy, Minos judges souls in Hell. He has a very long, serpentine tail which he uses to indicate the level number the damned soul belongs to. He'd wrap his tail around himself the same number of times as the level number.

  Minos in Hell is every bit the retired, wise ruler, whose wisdom was derived from divine advice. Seeing as divine advice to rulers is definitely Mel's speciality, who better to have been his advisor? So when he sees Mel again after thousands of years, he doesn't recognise the young, modern woman...but he's never forgotten the angel who taught him how to rule.

  Like many of Hell's denizens who date back to the time when all human souls were confined to the Underworld, Minos is neither demon nor damned – his immortal soul has taken on the job of judgement. Though he's kept very busy, he does find time to leave Hell on occasion. When he does, he meets up with Saint Peter and Saint Michael the Archangel, both colleagues in their roles as final judges of human souls, and the three find a quiet spot to enjoy a barley beer or six.

  Some of the Greek legends surrounding Minos are far from the benevolent ruler who united the communities on the island of Crete, which suggests that there was more than one Minos...or the man was both brilliant and a complete nutter. Ancient historians like Plutarch support the theory that the benevolent Minos was the ruler who started a navy and wrote the laws; but that the original Minos' grandson gave rise to some of the more colourful legends of the time. The following legends pertain to Minos' grandson, who is presently one of the denizens in Hell.

  Minos was the stepfather of the Minotaur. The sea god, Poseidon, was angry that Minos hadn't sacrificed a bull to him, so he made Minos' wife, Pasiphae (the daughter of the sun god, Helios), fall in love with the bull. With some help from Daedalus, she managed to somehow seduce the bull and conceive a child – the half-man, half bull known as the Minotaur – the Bull of Minos.

  Minos didn't like the Minotaur much, so he ordered Daedalus to build a palace to hide the creature. The resu
lt was the Labyrinth. A less than grateful ruler, Minos then imprisoned both Daedalus and his son, Icarus, so they couldn't tell anyone else how to get through the Labyrinth.

  One of Minos' sons, Androgeos, attended the athletic games held by King Aegeas of Athens. He was so successful at the events that the local competitors conspired to murder him. When word of his death reached Minos, King Minos declared war on Athens.

  On the way to Athens, Minos besieged the coastal city of Megara. Megara's king, Nisus, had an unusual gift: as long as he retained a lock of red hair, which he hid under the rest of his white hair, his city would be safe.

  Minos seduced his daughter, Scylla, who cut off her father's lock of red hair so she could offer it to Minos. Her father died, Megara fell...and charming Minos drowned the treacherous Scylla.

  Minos did reach Athens and he conquered it, too. He required that Athens send him seven of their best young men and women every 7-9 years (sources are a little hazy on precisely how many years), which he then sacrificed to the Minotaur.

  On the third such sacrifice, Theseus volunteered to go. With the assistance of one of Minos' daughters, Ariadne, and a ball of string, Theseus found the Minotaur and killed it, thus ending the slaughter of Athenian children.

  Daedalus and his son escaped from their prison by creating wings from feathers and wax. Icarus flew too close to the sun, so his wings melted and he drowned, but Daedalus made it to the mainland and into hiding. Minos set off to search for him and found him in Sicily. With the help of King Cocalus of Sicily and his daughters, Daedalus managed to kill Minos...by scalding him to death with boiling water while he was in the bath.

  Muriel

  Her name means perfume of God and the myrrh tree was named for her. Unusually, Muriel is an angel who appears female, while most others are male or androgynous in form.

  Very little is known about this angel, except that she is one of the Hashmallim. Some accounts place her as the leader of that choir.

  Nessos

  Nessos is a centaur who used to ferry people across the Euenos River on his back. One day, his passenger was Hercules' wife, Deianeira. During their short ride, Nessos decided he wanted a ride of a different sort and attempted to rape Deianeira while Hercules was still on the opposite bank of the river.

  Hercules shot Nessos in the heart with a hydra-poisoned arrow. As the centaur lay dying, he told Deianeira that his blood was a powerful love charm that would ensure that Hercules remained faithful to her. She took some of his blood and later stained one of Hercules' shirts with it. When Hercules wore the poisoned shirt, it burned him to death.

  Nessos is now the ferryman for the River Phlegethon in the seventh level of Hell and he hasn't lost his taste for personal payment from his female passengers.

  Nybbas

  Nybbas is a demon whose speciality is visions and dreams, but he's a charlatan and a fool. He's said to be able to create anything he can dream about.

  This may be why he's in charge of IT at the HELL Corporation – and he's the main liaison to the imps, a race of winged, demon-like beings who create illusions so realistic they even fool angels and demons. He's reputed to have been instrumental in the start of the Thai adult film industry (though he hasn't said how) and his public speaking skills are comical at best.

  He has something of a crush on Mel.

  Patrick

  Man or myth? Did Saint Patrick really banish snakes from Ireland?

  Saint Patrick most certainly did exist. Some of the documents he wrote (or copies of the originals) have survived more than 1500 years to the present day.

  While Patrick spent most of his life in Ireland, Patrick wasn't born there. He was born around the year 385 in Kilpatrick in Scotland. He wasn't Scottish, either – his parents, Calpurnius and Conchessa, were Romans tasked with taking care of the Roman colony of Britannia. His father, Calpurnius, was a deacon and his grandfather was Potitus, the priest of Banna Venta Berniae (a town believed to have been near modern-day Carlisle).

  When he was a teenager, an Irish raiding party captured him and took him home with them. In Ireland, he was a slave shepherd until he was twenty.

  He escaped and took ship for home in Scotland, but he was persuaded to return to Ireland – to convert its people to Christianity.

  He didn't go right away – he studied to be a priest instead. It wasn't until 433, when he was ordained as a bishop, that Patrick returned to Ireland. He spent more than thirty years of his life in Ireland, where he died on 17 March 461.

  There are several tales about how Saint Patrick rid Ireland of snakes. Some say that snakes attacked him while he was fasting and praying, while others state that his beloved wife was bitten by a snake. Either way, he took a distinct dislike to the creatures, so legend says he drove them into the sea.

  Actually, no human intervention was required to rid Ireland of snakes – as a combination of ice and sea water is responsible for that. In the last Ice Age, which ended around 10,000 years ago, Ireland was too cold for snakes to survive there and by the time it was warm enough to be hospitable, the sea level had risen, isolating the island from anywhere snakes might migrate from.

  Ireland isn't the only island that doesn't have snakes – New Zealand, Antarctica, Iceland and Greenland don't have any snakes, either. This might account for Patrick's preference for Ireland – he has a healthy fear of snakes.

  In the present day, the saint has become one of the Hashmallim – the first human-born soul to do so. His area of responsibility is the leaders of the UK and Europe, which is mostly where he spends his time. He's an old friend of Mel's and has worked closely with her many times over the centuries when she gets involved in European politics.

  Persephone

  Demeter's daughter, known as Persephone, Proserpine, Kore or Kora, prefers that her close friends call her Persi.

  Abducted by Hades when she was very young, to be forced into a marriage she didn't want, Persi's had a tumultuous life which has left her less than angelic.

  She's fond of ink and has a particularly detailed tattoo inspired by a Luca Signorelli painting in Orvieto Cathedral in Italy.

  As Demeter's daughter, she's also Mel's cousin and Persephone looks up to Mel as friend, confidante and authority figure. Persi aspires to be angelic, but her penchant for bad boys and other Earthly delights get her into trouble more often than most.

  Peter

  Saint Peter, also known as Simon Peter and Cephas, was both a fisherman and one of the twelve apostles of Jesus Christ, the leaders of the early Christian church. Along with Saint Paul, he's believed to be one of the founders of the See of Rome of the Catholic Church.

  He died in Rome during the reign of the Emperor Nero, crucified upside down on a cross on the Vatican Hill, where he was later buried. St Peter's Basilica was built on top of his grave, or where his grave was believed to be.

  Since his death, the saint's soul stands in judgement at the gates of Heaven. With the Book of Judgement, he weighs whether souls may enter Heaven or not. Up until recently, he's only stood in judgement over human souls and when demons attempt to enter Heaven, he defers to a higher authority like Saint Michael the Archangel.

  Philatanus

  Philatanus, known as Phil in the HELL Corporation, is the demon who assists Belial in sodomy. As the two men are lovers, they tend to focus on each other more than tormenting unwilling humans.

  When he's working, Philatanus is the director of the HELL Corporation's Research Division.

  Phlegyas

  Originally the King of the Lapiths, Phlegyas was the son of Ares and Chryse. His daughter, Coronis, was one of Apollo's lovers. When she was pregnant with Apollo's son, Asclepius, she fell in love with someone else – Elatus' son, Ischys. Apollo was so angry at Coronis that he sent his sister, Artemis, to kill the girl – but the baby survived, to be brought up by the centaur Chiron.

  Phlegyas responded by torching the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, so Apollo killed him, too.

  Phlegyas is in charge of
the fifth level of Hell, where those who committed the sin of wroth endlessly battle it out with each other in the swampy River Styx. He has a boat and occasionally ferries souls across the river, but at their peril.

  His particular enemy in Hell is Megaera, one of the three Dirae, who imprisoned him in a rock where he could see an eternal feast, but never eat any of it.

  Ploutos

  Ploutos was the Greek god of wealth – not to be confused with Pluto, otherwise known as Hades, the Lord of the Underworld. Ploutos was Demeter's son by Iasion, conceived when the couple were attending a wedding. He's tasked with distributing wealth, which is why he's often pictured with a cornucopia, but some accounts state that he's blind, because he distributes wealth so blindly.

  Ploutos is responsible for maintaining order in Level Four of Hell, where the greedy are punished. He continues to distribute wealth by managing the gambling in Hell – betting on which of the greedy souls will win their bout of fighting.

  He's Persephone's half-brother and particularly fond of cats.

  Raphael

  He healed a blind man, saved a woman from the devil, buried a demon in the desert...Raphael heals and likes hot places.

  Recognised in the Bible, Torah and Qur'an (where he's known as Israfel) as an archangel, very little is known about Raphael.

  Some sources say that he's on the same level as Michael, Gabriel and four other archangels in the angelic hierarchy, where archangel can be either one of the lower tiers of angels or simply a title for the leaders of each of the tiers.

  Raphael has been described as the leader of the Hashmallim, the choir of angels who have domination over Earth and the rest of the universe. If that's true, he's a bloke with huge responsibilities.